Sunday 28 May 2017

My Experiments with 'Desi Nuskhas'


My 'Naaf' went and where and why nobody knew!! 
To tell you from the start, well, I had been unwell since past few days. I had fever, body ache and an unpleasant pain in the stomach (pain is never pleasant, you know!). And, I do not believe in allopathic medicines and only take them when it is absolutely vital as the last option. I think with the usual allopathic/modern medicines you can get better in probably two days and without medicines (or with natural/herbal remedies, no side effects) and rest one can get better in probably three to four days. I had been surviving on simple 'khichdi' the proverbial 'sick food' and a few fruits and resting mostly at my home.  
My dear friend decided to pay me a visit with all her earthy wisdom and 'nuskhas'. She is one of my closest, sweetest, and one of the nicest human species can offer. So, she asked me about my complaints and ailments and checked my tummy. Her diagnosis, my 'naaf' was misplaced. The 'naaf' is the muscle in the tummy which gets affected when you lift something heavy. It is quite common and usually a person recovers in a couple of days. At Old Delhi, we had a neighbourhood uncle who would just rub the webbing between the thumb and the finger and voila! 'Naaf' would be back to its place in no time. Sadly, he was no more now. 

On my own I had tried the ice cold water on tummy therapy which cools down the hot gases and relaxes the tummy. In a steel bowl you put cold water and then place it on the tummy, using a spoon keep moving the water. Quite popular in East India and good for tummy related problems (vomiting, acidity, etc.).   
My dear friend told me she was quite an expert in treating such misplaced muscle things and in the morning next day, she would treat the empty tummy. (Anything which can save me from popping the pills!). To help me sleep at night, she rubbed a towel over me saying it helps with reducing fever, gave me a head-oil massage which relaxed me and made me drowsy and I went off to sleep. I got up a few times with tummy ache in the night but was able to sleep soon after.   
Dear friend got up early, got ready and I trusted her completely, I mean what could go wrong? 
She told me to lie down straight and asked for mustard oil and an old dupatta. Dear friend started with massaging the oil and then what followed was just me shouting all the names of God, "Allah/ hey Bhagwan, oh my Gawwd" interspersed with also remembering my 'Ammi' in pain and agony (I may have also shouted 'sh**' and 'f**k'!). She told me that the knot had reached the top of my rib cage which I could feel too. And she would have to bring it down and it would hurt (and, oh boy, it did hurt!). 
Dear friend clenched, took whatever flab was there to wrestle with my poor tummy till I cried out for her to stop. She was in her "zone", her mission was to cure me and told me the "more it hurts the better", I was shouting so loud, afraid (and hoped!) neighbours would come to intervene (save me and stop this mayhem).
Finally, after a while she had mercy on me and told me that the muscles have come down to an extent and would come to their right place once I eat her aata-halwa. She went to make halwa (for the first time ever in her life which she told me later!). I was supposed to lie still with a dupatta tied very tight around the place where my 'naaf' was. In a while she came back with a plate full of halwa and told me to eat it All, as 'heavy food would send the naaf back to where it belongs'. I had a few spoons, just could not eat, could not even compliment just thanked her for her love. I was eating the halwa sitting in a position with the dupatta tied on my waist tightly and my knees bent and very little support for the back.
I was supposed to take ten steps, lie down back and then take a bath after two hours. 
Doorbell rang and my house-help came, another "very wise lady". 
She greeted my friend and then felt bad that I had not shared with her my condition and rebuked me for eating anything. She showed me a few exercises which she said would put the naaf back on its place. My dear friend told me to lie down again and showed her the knot. Now, the two women discussed and worked on my belly! The house-help forgot all about her exercises and started torturing me with few of her own methods, clenching and twisting my tummy, as she kept saying "bada bura dard hota hai, didi!"(obviously, I KNOW women!). 
Finally, the two 'wise women' decided that next day, on empty tummy another woman expert would bring my naaf back!
By that point after all that jostling and everything, there was a knot between my tummy and rib cage which was hurting constantly and I still did not know where-the-hell-my-naaf-went-and-why!  

To cut the long story short, I survived and am still alive (Hallelujah').
         

(Thankfully, Dear friend does not read my blog and I would never share this post with her ever! I love her and am grateful for All her help and support, in case she accidentally ever reads this!)
Statutory Warning: Do Not Try This At Home. Ever. 

Saturday 20 May 2017

A Box With Your Name On It


कई बार तुमको देना चाहा बहुत कुछ
 कुछ हिकायतें
कुछ रवायतें
कुछ ख्वाइशें
कई अर्ज़ियाँ

बहुत चमकीले धूप के दिन
बहुत स्याह ठंडी रातें
कुछ गहरी शामें
कई बरसातें

बहुत नमकीन से आंसू भी
बहुत मीठी सी मुस्कानें भी
कुछ यादों की तितलियाँ
कई फिल्मों के गाने भी

बहुत सी बातें जो कही नहीं कभी
बहुत से झगड़े जो उलझे हैं अभी
कुछ गुमान
कई शिकायतें

बहुत सी किताबों की कहानियां
बहुत से रिश्तों की निशानियां
कुछ क़समें जो ली ही नहीं
कई वादे जो हुए ही नहीं

सबको बंद करके
एक डब्बे में रख दिया है
और लिख दिया है
उसके ऊपर
नाम तुम्हारा...

Kayi baar Tumko dena chaha bahut kuch 
Kuch hikayatein 
Kuch riwayatein 
Kuch khwaishen  
Kai arziyan
Bahut chamkeele dhoop ke din  
Bahut syaah thandi raatein 
Kuch gehri shaamen
Kai Barsaatein

Bahut namkeen se aansoo bhi
Bahut meethi si muskaanen bhi
Kuch Yaadon ki titliyan
Kai filmo ke gaane bhi

Bahut si baaten jo kahi nahi kabhi
Bahut se jhagde jo uljhe hain abhi
Kuch gumaan
Kai shikayatein

Bahut si kitaabo ki kahaniyan 
Bahut se risho ki nishaniyan
Kuch qasme jo li hi nahi
Kai waade jo hue hi nahi   


Sabko band karke Ek dabbe me rakh diya hai
Aur likh diya hai 
Uske oopar 
Naam tumhara....



Monday 15 May 2017

Ek Ladki Ke Naam..

शांत,मासूम
गहरी सी नदी थी वह लड़की
अपने अंदर  खामोशियों के तूफ़ान  छुपाये
अपने लफ़्ज़ों के तलातुम* में खुद ही उलझ  जाए
कुछ गुमसुम सी
कुछ रूठी सी
उदास आँखों से हंसती
दर्द की एक तस्वीर थी वह लड़की
उसके पाऊँ में ज़ंजीर थी
कुछ समाजो की
कुछ रिवाजो  की
कुछ अपनों की
कुछ परायों की
वह रोज़ एक जंग खुद से लड़ती
और रोज़ हार जाती
शिकस्त के ज़ख़्म थे कुछ
जीत का न तिलक कोई
बस थकन थी
वजूद की ..
और थी
शांत, मासूम गहरी नदी सी लड़की...

Shaant, masoom, 
Gehri si nadi thi woh ladki
Apne andar khamoshiyon ke toofan chhupaye 
Apne lafzon ke talatum* me khud hi ulajh jaaye
Kuch gumsum si
Kuch roothi si
Udaas ankhon se hansti 
Dard ki ek tasveer thi woh ladki
Uske paon me zanjeer thi
Kuch samajo ki
Kuch rivajo ki
Kuch apno ki
Kuch parayon ki
Woh roz ek jang khud se ladti 
Aur roz haar jaati
Shikast ke zakham the kuch
Jeet ka na tilak koi
Bas thakan thi 
Wajood ki..
Aur thi
Shaant masoom gehri nadi si ladki..

*Bhanwar/ भंवर
Dedicated to a Dear Friend

Tuesday 9 May 2017

Nainital & Night At Rampur - 2


 Nainital, is a city around the Naini lake and very interesting rickshaws, good markets and good food. It resembled Sarojini Nagar to my colleague with so many Delhi/Chandigarh people. 
We had our lunch and kept our luggage at a restaurant on the main road before we went on our mission- shopping! 


The huge Tibetan market with the Nainital Jama Masjid at one end, Gurudwara and a temple in the middle and Church a little further, not just enthralls a shopper but a 'Sarva-dharm Sambhav' believer too. 
We had to buy an extra bag for the stuff we bought. I ended up buying socks for everyone- niece/nephew/friends/family.

We had chai and walked up to the other local market of Nainital, the Bara Bazar. I had remembered the local barfi, bought some five years back. The famous barfi (locally known as bal mithai) from Mamu's is really good, we tried from the other shop, same price but not half as good as Mamu!


It was getting late we decided to ask around for taxis around 6pm. We had to pick up our bags from the restaurant too. The taxi driver told us that we would get taxi from the other side. We kept walking, also bought a few squashes and plum chutneys from the main road on the way. We picked up our bags around 7pm only to realize that from evening on wards the traffic around the city gets one-way and taxis are available on the other side only and no rickshaws too! Now, we three with our bags walked as fast as we could around the entire lake city and realized well, the lake was quite big! As my friend remarked, if someone could spot on a satellite three people with huge bags running from one end of the city to the other, they would know it was us (not funny guys!).
Finally found a taxi around 8pm,  driver over-charged and informed us that it takes almost an hour to reach Kathgodam and we will have to take a longer route because of traffic restrictions! Well, nobody warned us about Nainital's traffic restrictions, they do not even have that much traffic!

We were tired (with walking or rather running around the city with our luggage), stressed and the internet network on phones was not working. I called up a friend in Delhi, to ask for available options. He told us about Howrah train which would drop us at Rampur and from there many trains go to Delhi. We still kept praying (and puked from stress!) and hoping that we get our direct train to Delhi. Driver did try (to be fair), but we reached Kathgodam ten minutes late at 8.40pm, and direct train to Delhi had left.
We bought general train tickets to Rampur and found that there is a Ladies Compartment on the Howrah train. We had sometime so at the IRCTC diner, we bought food, ate some with effort, gave away rest and drank all the available options- flavored lassi/milk/ cold coffee/Minute maid etc.

Some policewalas came inside the Ladies dabba which had just two sections of berths, extremely uncomfortable upper berths. We took the single window seats on the side and Amma lied down on the berth. Policewalas clicked photos of all the women and told us scary stories  about women poisoning other women with food and then looting stuff. One policeman sat in the women's section throughout 'for safety'. After a long day, we were all feeling a bit sleepy, but the fear of reaching Howrah 'by mistake' somehow kept us up! As train moved from Kathgodam, at every station, crowd of women with large luggage, boxes, sacks of utensils and children came into the compartment (women do not travel light, check out any ladies compartment!). 
Amma had to get up and share her berth with four women and two kids ('chivalry' is a virtue lost on most women), they just talked or created fuss and fought! If so many women travel in Ladies Compartment, railway authorities should make more seats available. It is just tokenism without any facilities! 
Thankfully, Rampur came soon and we got off Howrah train's women compartment-cum-Murgi-darba!
Rampur station was reasonably crowded. We went to buy the tickets for Delhi and got information that train was late by an hour, and subsequently all trains to Delhi were late. We kept waiting on Platform 3, made a few rounds of the ladies waiting room (quite clean!) to charge our phones, bought more cold drinks. The weather was much better because of the drizzle, just a few mosquitoes and sprawling benches looked quite inviting, and made acquaintance with chaiwalas, coolies, Amul Ice cream and other vendors on the platform. 
Finally, the train came around 2.30am and power went off! It could not have been more dramatic, looked rather than a train to Delhi but to Hogwarts'. The light came back soon and we somehow managed to get in with our stuff, but the crowds- people sleeping on the floor, most spilling from their seats, some just hanging near the door and full AC/Sleeper class with TT nowhere insight, forced us to come out of the train. The same scene was repeated with the next three Delhi trains. We had serious discussions (that is what academics do!) on the bad conditions, Railways needing reforms, etc. Another train was scheduled for 6am and we were promised by an old coolie that he would get us space for Rs. 300/- extra. We had given up on trains by now. Around 4.30am, me and my colleague decided to go out and see what other options were available as it was dawn already, and small towns get up early. We spoke with a few taxi guys, a e-rickshaw wala took us to a taxi stand, sadly it had no taxis! We spotted a few buses and decided to take the bus. The old coolie walked us out of the Rampur station, we took a Volvo to Delhi at 5am and reached Delhi around 10am thankfully! 
After coming back, instead of taking out her policewala danda for the Nainital fiasco, Amma/Umma cooked a nice lunch with kheer as dessert for us :)

Sunday 7 May 2017

To Binsar And Back- 1

Post-finishing our semester, I and my colleague decided to go on a short trip. I spoke with a friend from the hills and decided on a quiet (but far!) place, Binsar. We along with her mother (who was from the first batch of female police personnel from Kerala and more energetic than both of us!) reached Old Delhi Railway station to catch a train to Ramnagar. Since we could not find anything available online on Tatkal, we queued up to get tickets for us.
The Customer Care Service centers do not exist at the Railway stations because they neither care nor provide any service to the customers! 
The person on the window giving tickets was extremely rude and busy with all the other things except giving tickets! As we requested/shouted at him, he just shot back with, "you should have come earlier or booked online"jibe. Anyways, we got the ticket and train which was almost full was standing on the platform. I spoke with TT and he directed us to a few empty berths. As we settled on the births in the sleeper class, lower birth for 'Amma/Umma', middle and top ones for us, a talkative girl on the other lower birth made friendly general inquiries. TT came in a while and we asked him to make our tickets, he charged less and left without giving us a receipt. The girl went after him, shouted and created a huge ruckus, we paid almost three hundred more and got a receipt. It became quite an issue to calm the girl down!

We realized that we were in the Kathgodam train, as the train gets diverted in two different directions, one goes to Kathgodam and other to Ramnagar. We were told that we should get off at Ramnagar (although later we found out that it did not matter!). We needed to change to the other side of the train at Moradabad to reach Ramnagar! TT knew we were going to Ramnagar at the platform itself, but still mislead us to make his money! 
As we cursed the guy and tried to make our way hitting and poking people spilling over from their births only to realize that they close the compartment doors now, so we could only switch by walking through the platform at 2am. We changed our compartment, and after halting at Moradabad for almost one and half hours, train still managed to drop us at Ramnagar at 5am. At Ramnagar station, taxi walas were asking for extra money, they all had big cars or SUVs. We took an auto to bus stop and from there hired a  Alto-taxi for Binsar at reasonable rates. The taxi driver, a young boy was extremely talkative. This was the wedding season around this part as we crossed through many baraats (Monu weds Sonu cars!). He stopped at a dhaba and we saw that around this part there is problem of gas and availability of wood has meant de-forestation and thin jungles, as people still cook on firewood. Our taxi driver told us about the benefits of cooking on firewood and better taste of food and natural water as everybody lives long, healthy lives.


The breakfast for him, was of pakoras with dahi raita (sprinkled with lots of chillies) and aloo sabzi. It was a long five hour drive and both me and my colleague got nauseous with the drive up in the hills. We again stopped at a resort for another round of breakfast at 11am.

We reached Binsar around 1pm and then tried to check with the Kumaon Mandal Guest house which was extremely expensive. We went to Binsar Eco Resort, a three-star nice,clean resort, which we had seen online, got good rates for two rooms.
We had lunch and then slept off the entire afternoon, got up to eat dinner and then slept again! The weather was mildly cold and the view absolutely beautiful.


The plan for the next day, was to go around Binsar. We hired a taxi for the famous 'Binsar Wildlife Sanctuary' heard a few hair raising tales of wild animals at the ticket office, where we paid Rs.150 per person for ticket and Rs. 250 for taxi. The road around the sanctuary was in very good shape, as our talkative taxi driver (again!) explained that the roads that were built by the British were built with engineering insights and research, the Indian authorities now just build the roads without realizing that during rains/snow they get blocked. The roads by the British are all-season roads. He kept complimenting the British engineering, as we kept going up listening to the 90s Bollywood music, till we reached a point where we had to walk up to the Zero point on a walking track. My colleague and I started walking imagining our adventurous encounters with wild animals. She wondered our response if we actually meet a leopard (common here) and me saying nonchalantly that then it would be him, not us who would be doing anything!


We were extremely disappointed to find just butterflies in the name of wildlife, and waste bins lined up on the way! Nothing wild about it, and we had paid around 650/- only for pretty sights! We came back from halfway and on our way back I went back to the ticket guy to ask for a refund and told him that 'human jungles are more scary, and they are looting people here in the name of 'wildlife'.
In response, he said animals do not come out during the day!!

From, here we took a short route to the famous Shiva temple at Jageswar. Weather turned cloudy and the long drive around small villages became enjoyable.

We reached the temple complex around 2pm, had lunch at a dhaba. Food was fresh and good, and as per my habit, I asked for the dessert option, the waiter assured us that they have sweets and brought saunf and cheeni! We laughed our hearts out and went towards the temple complex with 125 small and big temples built between 7th-14th century.


It was quite a peaceful and serene experience. As it started to drizzle we had tea and bun-butter at the same dhaba and started back for our resort. By the time we reached back in time for tea and pakoras the drizzle turned into a downpour as we took a walk around the resort. Binsar had no bazar, no crowds only nature for company. The resort was at a steep slope, all the amenities and food at the resort were good, except for the desserts.



The morning actually starts at 6am in the hills and then onwards its just a long afternoon with strong sun. My fellow travelers were ready for our half day trip to Nainital at 7am. It is not a trip, until you shop, and abiding by that principle, we called a taxi for Nainital, our shopping destination, a five hour journey from Binsar. The route was beautiful as it kept drizzling throughout. The taxi driver had college going daughter, so he kept showing us the colleges and institutes on the way. 

We reached Nainital around 2pm. We were supposed to leave Nainital around 6.30pm for Kathgodam station from where we had a 8.30pm train direct to Delhi. We were told by our taxi wala bhaiya that it was just around half an hour from Nainital.
       To be continued.....

Beedi Peeti Aurat

 बीड़ी पीती औरत   अंकुश लगती है घूरती निगाहों को समाज नकारता है कुढ़ता है उसकी बेईमानी पर   उसके कर्त्तव्य याद दिलाता है   ये उसका हक़ नहीं   इ...